•yes, I’m best friends with my ex husband•
Let’s begin with this, I truly believe you can be friends with an ex. Once the romance is over, it’s over. Why not be friends with someone you were once close with? You’re at the point that your relationship has run its path, what’s in the past is in the past. Obviously if it was an abusive relationship, bad chemistry or anything extremely negative you’re not going to want to keep them around. But let’s be realistic, if you can remain friends why not? At this point you’re probably thinking I’m crazy, like I have 4 heads. Typical response. My ex husband and I have the mutual respect for each other that we knew when to call it quits. When everything stopped adding up romantically & we still wanted to stay close as friends. The smart way to divorce. Now, of course dating is slightly tricky. Explaining that you’re best friends with your ex husband usually makes guys run for the hills. I’m at the point in my life that if you can’t accept my ex and I being close then we could never be together anyways. I truly lucked out with my ex. We have the perfect makings for a friendship, and a horrible concoction for romance. Maybe even oil & water if you will. This doesn’t mean I need to disrespect him, dislike him or hope he’s not happy. I’m always going have a soft spot for him in my heart & wishes whatever he does next in life makes him truly happy. He’s a great guy, he deserves happiness. I guess the odd looks I receive when we say “oh no, we aren’t dating, we’re actually divorcing” are never going to end. But I will happily & openly discuss being best friends with my husband because I mean, why not? People should be more openly accepting of others & not purposely holding onto negative feelings for something that’s in the past. Love doesn’t have to end because a marriage did. A great friendship just grows.
– Divorcing Crooks
•seriously, what’s next?•
Soooo good news, I SOLD MY HOUSE! Bad news, I have no idea where the fuck I’m going. I’ve been so focused on getting this house ready & getting it on the market that I’ve completely forgotten about myself. What’s that you say?…Oh right, thank you for reminding me. 12 month plan… Well, house is now sold so I’m 100% going on a trip (maybe 2 .. Or 3?) to explore a ton of culture, as much culture as I can possibly soak in. A trip for me to clear my head, live the life of others & actually explore this beautiful planet we live on. Except one problem, when I get home from this trip… Where exactly is home? For months I’ve gone back and forth about where I want to move, do I rent? Do I buy? I’m quite literally the definition of a first world problem. I have the money, the opportunity to start new yet I have no idea where I’m going. Most people would kill for this opportunity. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful and blessed for where I am in life. However, At the same time though, I’ve never felt so lost. I finally have the freedom I’ve wanted for so many years, no assets (okay well a few, but they all have fuzzy feet & fur babies don’t count) I have no schedule, I quite literally get to start new. For once in my life there’s no where I need to be. I have no time line, nobody I need to check in with. I almost feel like a little kid high on ice cream & running around in circles, having no where to go. There’s no plan, no destination but I refuse to sit still. So where to next? I would love to walk on every inch of land this world has to offer before making my decision. Unfortunately though, it sounds kind’ve lonely & frankly I’m asthmatic so I would run out of breathe in a few hours. Haha. Right now, atleast today, I have no game plan. My current goal is to jam pack my days full of adventure & new experiences. I refuse to live the life I’ve been living if don’t have to. I will say however, I will be taking some small weekend trips to sort out where to live next. I’ve definitely got some friends in some great places that I wouldn’t mind calling home. So for now, my daily plan is to meet as many people as I can, network like crazy & focus on growing into a better person than I am. Ask me my goals in a week, maybe I’ll have a better idea then.
– Indecisive Crooks.
I’ve always been extremely independent. Since I was a kid I would always do things for myself instead of relying on others. It’s often been a constant problem when I’m in a relationship. Most men want their girl to NEED them. When I found my ex husband I thought I hit the jackpot. He continuously supported me in being independent & doing my own thing. This was one of the greatest aspects of our relationship. Obviously, him now being my ex, things didn’t quite work out. I feel like one of the greatest things I’ve learnt from my marriage was to love myself first. To find a guy who I WANT & not one I NEED. A huge part of this is me taking the time to love myself again, do anything & everything I want. I can quite honestly say I have no time for a relationship. Sure, I’ve dipped into the Tinder pool, met some cool new people & had some fun. For once though, I’m being greedy & keeping all of my time & energy to myself. It’s time to date myself, treat myself & grow as a person. If I meet someone along the way? Awesome. I’m looking for a companion, someone to explore life with. Someone who equally wants to grow and improve themselves. I’m perfectly happy building my own empire, soaking myself in culture, enriching my soul in memories & becoming increasingly even more independent. I’ve got the right to be picky on whom I call “boyfriend”, I could care less to waste someone else’s time. If they just simply aren’t the right fit, I don’t care to force it. Obviously I’m human & hate the idea of being alone, but I rather be alone than with the wrong person. Life is too damn short. So I guess, for now, I’ll be making lots of friends, learning about people’s lives & day dreamin about the perfect man for me. Until then blog, wanna date?
– Single Crooks.
•let’s call him Cole•
I very strongly believe in “everything happens for a reason”. My inspiration for this post comes from someone I’ve met recently. I was in a situation where I wasn’t wanting to be open minded, free willed or socialable. I wanted to stay at home, read a book & snuggle up. However, I made a promise to change my life style & forced myself out the door. Now, I believe timing is everything. There’s a set time and place where you’re bound to meet someone. I just so happened to get along with Cole really well. We chatted for a couple hours getting to know the basics of each other & our life styles. He couldn’t possibly have a more opposite life from myself. I found it fascinating. We’ve had many life experiences which were the same, yet different outcomes. Talking further with him I sort’ve picked his brain in a non-chalant way. Going back to my other posts explaining I had a 12 month plan & my future goals which I feel I’m working hard to achieve. Instead of looking at me like I have 2 heads, he agreed. He knew exactly what I was talking about/wanting to put myself through. A large portion of our goals were even the same. Almost like he was inside this hectic head of mine. Long story short I was amazed that I wasn’t alone in what I’m going through. Without getting too personal it was nice to know that someone in the exact same situation as myself could also relate. I guess forcing myself out the door that day was worth it. It reminded me (here we go, life lessons again!) that everyone has a story. So get outside and talk to strangers, stop someone in the street, even compliment a total random walking by. You never know who you’re going to run into. I was fortunate to meet Cole. He came into my life for a reason & I could of potentially of formed a great friendship if nothing else someone who understands & knows what I’m going through. Remember: everything happens for a reason. I can’t say I know exactly why Cole came into my life. Wether it was to teach me a lesson, open my eyes to something new or to just flat out make a new friend. Sometimes you just have to shove yourself out of that front door and face the demons you so desperately want to hide from. It’ll be worth it I swear.
…… Is far better than what is gone.
So, if you’re anything like me you’re impatient to change. Once I set a goal I have to achieve it. Like ASAP. I’ve got this insane drive once I want something I’ll do anything to get it. Eye on the prize sort of thing. There’s days like today for example, long, unproductive. Those days where you feel like you aren’t getting anywhere in life. Grumpy, miserable & just need a sudden change. I’ve got a twelve month plan. So far, I’m fairly on track. However that doesn’t mean I don’t want to fast forward six months and see what’s in store. I wish I could peak into the future and see where I am or what my life looks like. I’m so driven not to be the same person I was in the beginning 2016, I may be making myself a tad crazy. I cannot be alone in this. Right?! I feel like time is standing still, my feet are set in concrete. How do you break free from this feeling? Do you do something drastic? Maybe take off on a random road trip? Or just continuing on living the same life day by day? I guess I’ve got to learn to stop and smell the roses (add that to my goals for 2016) patience definitely isn’t one of my fortes. One more step into learning who I am. Every day will be a growing process for me. For now I will keep my goal to constantly change & not be who I was yesterday. I’ve got 24 hours in a day to learn, grow & build myself further. Carpe Diem sort’ve thing. I’ll end this blog with breathing in & exhaling slowly. Time to slow down.
-The ever so eager…. Crooks.
TINDER – the place where you give you left thumb quite the work out.
So, a few months back I got sucked into the Tinder universe. Not having a clue what I’d find I figured I would give it a try. Granted, I don’t really have any “horror” stories. It felt like a constant thumb cramp of swiping left. Can you break your thumb from swiping? I feel like it got close a few times. A few typical guys being creeps, people I actually reconnected with and then there’s the guys who were just in town for the weekend and actually live across the country. WHY MUST ALL THE BABES LIVE OUT WEST? I’m starting to think I joined tinder not to start a relationship but for my true calling to be out west. I’m thankful to already have some friends out there, some people I would love to reconnect with. I’m in the debate now of what’s stopping me? Soon I won’t have any assets to tie me down. So here’s my question to you. Would you do the responsible thing and visit out there a few times, see if it’s your true calling? Would you jump with two feet and hope for a newer, better life? Or would you continue to build your life here and always wonder what could be out there. Sure, grass is always greener. But I’m starting to think maybe this is all happening for a reason. I wish life would just sometimes give you the “green light” to the right answer. Maybe at the very least a little shove? (I mean more then sending me some babely tinder matches from the western area of Canada)
Needless to say, I’ve finally deleted Tinder (not my entire profile, don’t be silly. Just the app. I need an ego boost sometimes) but what I’m taking from Tinder isn’t AIDS, Crabs or something to forever remind me of the guy who ate his own skin. (True story, but I’ll save that for a later date) but maybe that there’s something bigger than this life that I have yet to experience. Besides all the babes out west of course. For now, I guess I’ll just hang tight where I am, no promises where I’ll be in the next few months however. Until then…. HI BABELY OUT WEST TINDER DUDES 🙋🏼🙋🏼
So, here we go… First post. It’s safe to say I’ve read my fair share of blogs. I’ve always appreciated them, enjoyed them & quite honestly spent meaningless hours learning about people I’ve never met. This for whatever reason never dawned on me to write my own. Until now. My life has been quite the roller coaster. Well, atleast in the last few years. From getting married, being secretly seperated & eventually everything falling apart inbetween. Life’s crazy, unpredictable, but I wouldn’t change my experiences for the world. So here I am, starting a new chapter in my life. I’m “making 2016 mine”. I thought I would post up some of my 2016 goals, see what I’ve achieved over the next year. Boy this should be interesting:
– get into school
– brand myself
– sell house
– pay off credit
– get dream body
-don’t give up
-let it go (anything and everything negative)
-get into aroma therapy
– smart serve certification
– get cultured!
– put down the cell phone
– go out and meet tons of people
– go out west constantly
– get motorcycle license
-see the northern lights
– tattoo thigh, finish arm & start left arm
– watch all of the Harry potters/twilights (yes seriously, I’ve never seen them before)
– go camping
– go to Nashville
•Just to list a few•
This is the beginning of a new chapter, new me. Won’t you join me?