Letting go.

•its not rejection, its redirection•

It’s no secret that I’ve been through some pretty rough times in the last two years. My roller coaster lifestyle is greatly displayed on this blog alone. I had someone really close to me recently read my blog. When I nervously asked what he thought he said he has three opinions.

1. He’s never seen me so vulnerable, so open & raw.

2. I’m fantastic at displaying my personality. If he didn’t know me  already would feel we were friends through my blog alone. 

3. The only negative he had for me is something he felt  I really needed to learn. “It’s not rejection, it’s redirection”

…. This basically smacked me in the face. I’m rarely left speechless but that alone kinda knocked me on my ass. He stated all this heartbreak I’ve been through, the complicated situations and the confusion has sucked but without it I’d never be sitting in front of him.drinking my new favourite beer and grinning ear to ear. I tried to just leave the commentary there. I wanted it to digest into me and figure out what it really meant to me, for me or if it was even relevant to me. I went home that night and read every blog entry I’ve written since the beginning. After many tears, another beer (okay maybe two) I started thinking about what it all meant to me and what I was going to do about it.

Life is pretty crazy sometimes. My romantic life especially. I’m currently happily single. Something I never thought I could be. I always felt I was boarderline one of those people who always needed a guy by my side, a best friend & someone to curl up with every night. I never thought life would bring me to the point that  I genuinely don’t feel like I need someone. Granted, days can be tough, nights are for sure cold and long however I’m killin’ it. I’m managing all on my own, in the most expensive place to live in Canada with two dogs and an apartment I can call mine. Life’s pretty great sometimes. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I don’t know who I will meet or who will leave my life for good but I know at this moment that my “redirection” has been pretty great and that all the up and downs were worth it. I have an amazing set of friends, two fur babies who love me no matter what & an amazing place I call home.

– fulfilled Crooks.

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