A reason to smile…..

 •2016•

My name is Crooks, I’m twenty seven years old. I’ve grown up a lot quicker than most twenty seven year olds. I’ve had a career, owned my own home, been in love, been married, been heartbroken. I’ve never gone without love in my life, or a supportive family or a hot meal on the table. I’ve been extremely lucky in life so far. Even at my worst times, they’ve turned around into my best memories. I could never complain about my life or my experiences. I am extremely fortunate. One thing I’ve never done however is find myself. Until now. Enter 2016:

Let me start off by saying that 2015 was an extremely hard year for me. I battled a lot of personal issues, relationship issues (both friends and romantic) & an overall uphill emotional battle. I’ve always been the positive “sun will come out tomorrow” type personality; but parts of 2015 had definitely managed to steal my personality away from me. I am stronger because of this. I vowed 2016 was going to be different. Has it ever! From previous posts you know the basics of whats gone on. Since my last post minor changes have been made. I kissed the automotive industry goodbye. Fond memories made for sure, but time to be who I’ve always wanted to be. These last couple weeks I’ve really worked on just my happiness. Doing things I love. I’ve spent more time at the beach, spent more time with family & friends, taken the dogs for day adventures & even managed to read some books I’ve desperately wanted to read for a long time. I decided my next career choice wasn’t going to be rushed, it wasn’t worth sacrificing my happiness anymore. I was done with selling out my freedom & good spirit for a solid paycheque. It’s time to have a life again. I’ve gotta say, I’m the happiest I’ve been in years. I finally feel like I’m free to love myself. I’m spending every day learning more about myself. I’ve never felt I had the right to look after myself because there was always someone else I put first. I’ve never felt like I do now. In twenty seven years I’ve finally fallen in love with myself. I’m confident in who I’m becoming. Confident in my personality, my body & my mind. They say when you put positive energy into the world you get positive back. Enter him. I don’t know what it is yet, but I know it’s something. I haven’t smiled & laughed like this for a really long time. I don’t want to jinx what that is, but I know whatever it is definitely contributes to this recent happiness. I’ve never met someone I could be so comfortable with, be myself & yet never be judged. Its a refreshing, new feeling that I think I could get used to.

None of this happiness would be possible if I didn’t make a leap. I literally jumped into  the unknown, faced all my fears & went in with two feet. Vancouver is changing me. I don’t think I could ever be who I was before I made this move. I want to put the past in the past and look forward to this new me who I love. I know I have something great to offer the world & I can’t wait to see where it leads me. This doesn’t mean I get to stop working my ass off to fight for who I want to be, but it does mean all this hard work both emotional and physical is finally paying off & I couldn’t be happier.

-Confident Crooks

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