So this is goodbye…

no looking back•

-April 30th 2016-

This is my first five minutes I’ve had to myself in weeks. I’m choosing to blog to hopefully take some stress off my shoulders. Where do I begin?

WHAT A CRAZY COUPLE OF WEEKS!! It’s insane in what a small amount of time how everything can change, your entire life is turned upside down. Wether it’s good or bad, it’ll never be the same it was yesterday. That 2016 bucket list I created? I managed to accomplish many things in such a little time. Just as I thought I was stuck running around in circles. For example, as of two weeks ago I am no longer working. I’m not representing Volkswagen nor Audi anymore. As much as the brand itself will always have a spot in my heart it was time to move forward. I really loved my job, loved the people I worked with. However, I was no longer feeling challenged, I didn’t feel like I was growing and a change needed to be made. I’ll explain a little more in depth in a different blog as this is just the tip of the iceberg. But already, such a large difference in my lifestyle. Moving forward: I took these last two weeks to reflect more on myself, and packed my entire house. Closing day on the house eventually came & my lord, was I exhausted. I spent more time packing up five years of my life than anything. It was really tough. Deciding what to part with and what to keep. Packing takes such an emotional strain that I was not prepared for. Bru (the ex) and I hit new grounds to realizing this is all becoming very true, very quickly. For the first time in 8 years we are finally going our own ways, we won’t be in each other’s lives every day & able to communicate like we once were able to. This hit me really hard, not because of the divorce, but because I felt like I was loosing my best friend. I realize this is a large part of growing up and moving on but why does it need to be so hard? I took this as a sign to go away for a little bit, find my happy spot and just reflect on life & where to next. I’ve booked a trip to Vancouver. A huge pet of my head lays in the mountains and it’s just fair enough away to escape my every day life, but close enough to bring me back and still appreciate everything I have in Ontario. I’m interested to see where that will lead, wondering if there’s something out there for me or if it’ll just be a trip to catch up with some old friends. This could either be a soul defining path for me or a reflection of the truth ahead….. I have no idea what I’m doing, where I’m going and for once of my life have no plan. This is odd for me, I’ve always been a planner. I’m the one my friends count of for reservations, letting them know where to be & when. I’ve finally said fuck it, tossing my life in the air and seeing where it leads me. Hopefully Van will give me some sort of insight as to who I am or where I’m going. For now though, this is goodbye Volkswagen & Goodbye house, I’m starting life new. 

– finally free Crooks

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