marriage, do or don’t?•

I was brought up to believe once you get married you feel a sense of security. Security in the sense knowing you found the one person you’re supposed to be with, everybody else is just shadows in the backround. Now, from personal experience I never truly felt secure in my marriage. I always felt like he could do better or always wanted someone more than me. (Looking back, I realize I had multiple aspects as to why I felt this way) I always wrote it off as part of the reason my marriage failed. Insecurity & never feeling enough. I recently went out with a friend who is now married & she was saying how she would never think her husband would cheat, but never fully felt secure. It was in the back of her mind that he could be checking out/meeting girls at work, the gym or just a simple daily errand he’s running. My question is when did we all become so insecure? What happened to the idea of relationships, especially marriage that’s supposed to be so sacred between two people they never had to consider an outside temptation? Can our generation blame social media? It’s similar to dating these days, nobody really settles down into a long term relationship because they feel there could always be something better. How do we quit temptation and really focus on we’re with? Is it as simple as deleting social media and pouring all the focus into a relationship? Do we need to start dating ourselves and realize that we can no longer rely on our companion to fulfill that security? I want to know when security became such a problem. I can truthfully say since my marriage ended I’ve learnt to love myself. I have nobody to impress except myself. If I want to watch a cheesey movie and eat all my favourite junk food I will. I now understand that when I do find someone I want to invest my time in that I will be good enough. A significant other doesn’t have the right to take that away from me. I don’t know if I’m learning this because of my experiences in life at such a young age or if this is part of growing up and getting to know me. I’m not sure I would’ve ever gotten to when I am mentally if I was still married. I truthfully thought the sense of insecurity was just something that was wrong with me. I didn’t know other people also felt this way. Especially married couples. Do men feel insecure in their relationships too? Most people are quick to blame social media, but is there a way to have a long lasting relationship AND have social media? Or is our generation forever going to feel there is always someone better? I guess this is modern day relationships now. Can marriage be kept sacred and secure? Will we always be tempted by someone else? I understand not everyone has temptation, not everyone will act on temptation if they do. I’m curious to see how marriage will be in 10 years from now, will social media or overall temptation totally destroy the idea of one person forever? Guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

– Curious Crooks

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