Picking up…. 

odd balls•

Ahem. I have a….. Talent? In attracting odd ball men. Some I’m sure are as sweet as pie but come across….. Different. I for whatever reason have had some really odd situations happen to me ever since I was a teenager. Never any “dangerous” situations but I always seem to attract the guys missing a few chromosomes. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve attracted normal men as well. However, who really wants to hear about the normal ones? Borrrriinnngggggg.

Here’s just a few stories or examples of what I mean: 

– My favourite all time was the guy who ate his own skin. I wish I was lying. We went out & after quite a few racist remarks, him telling me I can’t talk to any other men & chanting gay slurs at people I had enough. But this wasn’t the end my friends. As we sat there talking he proceeded to tell me he got chemical burn on his fingers. Which then decided to chew off and swallow. You can’t make this stuff up. I asked him to stop, he’s reasoning? “Well gold member did it”…. Date over.
– Semi good looking dude worth talking to “hey! What’s your name?” Me- “hi! I’m Brookelynn!” Dude – “yeah right, and my names New York” me- “cause I haven’t heard that before”…. Walk away. (This has sadly happened more times than I can count)

– I also met another guy who’s English was horrible. He primarily spoke Spanish. This turned into full blown Google translation war. He was cool, super talented tattoo artist but wow. I’m pretty sure at one point I mixed Spanish & Italian together. The poor guy. We never had a hope. After a lot of odd looks, a few days of Google translation & awkward kissy face emojis I called it a day.

– I often get direct messages on Instagram or even Facebook. Typically it’s “hey I saw you on Tinder, not sure if you saw me” let’s be honest, I’ve seen you, I probably left swiped. Sorry pal. But thanks for creeping out my social media, totally makes you look normal. 👌🏻

– I have a problem with talking to strangers, I have an addiction to knowing the in & out’s of different personalities. As you can imagine, this leads to some odd conversations, often turns into these totally randoms thinking I’m into them. Nope, sorry. Just wanted to say hi.

– I had a guy rap my name once.. In fact let’s see if I can find it… 

………Ahem. Enough said.

These are just a few of the stories from the random odd balls I’ve met. I could go on forever about the diversity of guys I attract. All in all, it’s all in good fun. I mean, obviously these guys weren’t meant for me. But I’m sure they’ll make some other girl extremely happy. Right?!

Sincerely,

– staying single forever Crooks.✌🏻️

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