•disassembling life, no instructions required•
So it happened. I started packing. I don’t move for another three weeks but I felt the longer I leave it, the more emotional I’ll be. Sort’ve like tearing off the band aid. It’s hard to see your entire life in boxes, it’s even harder to live in a bare bones house that was once a home. They say “out with the old & in with the new”. Easy for them to say. (Who are “they” anyways?). How do you determine what to pack & what to toss? I was at a constant cross road as to what I should be keeping & what I need to let go of. I guess this is sort’ve a metaphor for my life right now. It’s crazy once you start tearing apart your personal goods what you find. I’ve realized I’m a book hoarder, easily over two hundred books. What the hell am I supposed to do with all of these? Seems impossible to let go, yet impractical to keep them. I disassembled my bedroom, bye bye barn board headboard, bye sparkly chandelier. Bare bones bed & a dresser. It almost feels like prison. I found a ton of stuff from the wedding, everything from invites, to thank you cards, to my bouquet & the stamp we used on the wishing tree. What do people typically do with these things? What happens when you divorce? Do people typically just throw it all away? I guess my divorce is anything but “typical” why start now? It just seems too bitter sweet to just toss the memories/memorabilia in the garbage. I also found a coconut that I found on a beach in Bahamas back in 2011. It’s safe to say I tossed that haha. I guess most people when they move have a destination. They know where they will be in six months and have a better understanding of what they need. Just another challenge to overcome. I’m choosing to look at this move as a fresh start. Unfortunately I have to pull through the next few daunting weeks to get there. I have a lot of changes coming up in life, I’m excited to see where it goes, yet terrified to let go what I already know. Life really is a guessing game sometimes, so what will it be? Door one? Door two? Or door three?
– growing up Crooks.